Here We Go Again

What is wrong with me? Why do I keep putting myself in a position to have my heart broken. It seems like I'm dependant on his love, but that's not the case at all. Or is it? I keep going back to the same place that I've been trying so hard to get away from. I mean four years is alot to just throw away. And he IS the father of my child. That has to count for something, right? He was my first(not to be mistaken with my only.) and and I really love him. I've tried dating other people, but it just doesn't work. He's all I can think about. He's driving me insane.

Maybe one day I'll brake free from his spell, but for now he is what makes me happy. And I guess thats all that really matters. The good outweighs the bad so for now I'm keeping him.