Letting Go

Giving up doesn't always mean you are weak; sometimes it means that you are strong enough to let go. ~Author Unknown


I guess sometimes you just have to open your eyes and realize that letting go is really the only way that you can go. There's no point in trying to hold onto someone that just doesn't want to be held onto( at least not by me anyways). Regardless of what he says I know he's not feelin' it,(when I say it I mean ME) so why do I keep wasting my time? Why do I keep allowing him to waste my time? I'm starting to feel like his mother instead of his girl(even though I'm not technically his girl). I just hope I don't get the urge to dial his number over the next few days. But it's okay if I do, all I have to do is remind myself of how much of a LOSER her really is(and this goes out to all of the he's I've been dealing with lately). I'll go into more of the who's what's and why's later, I'm annoyed and tired right now.

I'm Back

No, I didn't forget about my blog I've just been so busy with life that I didn't have time for it. I have so much going on right now it's crazy. My schedule is insane: I have school from 1:00pm-4:30pm except on Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday when I leave at 3:00pm so I can be at nail school by 5:00pm(stuck using public transportation b/cuz no one wants to teach me how to drive) I stay there 'till 9:00pm. And on Saturdays I go to nail school from 8:30am 'till 5:00pm. And I still have to make time to spend with my daughter and my boyfriend.

Real Love

This year I had the best Valentines Day EVER! No I didn't get bombarbed with flowers, candy, and gifts. I would have liked to though, but it didn't even matter. I realized how much I really love my boyfriend and how much our relationship means to me. I really think he is the one that I want to settle down and spend the rest of my life with. I know at 18 I'm kind of too young to be thinking about settling down, but I can't imagine being with anyone else but him. Yes he has his faults, but then again who doesn't. He was my first, although not my only, and I want him to be my last. We've been on and off for almost four years now, we have a beautiful baby-girl (and I also have a lovely step-daughter), and our relationship is in the best place it has ever been.

I am SO in LOVE!!!

Happy New Year

I think I have finally come up with my New Year's resolution. I know it took a while, but hey at least I have one. Well anyway I decided that my New Year' resolution is going to be to finally complete a story that I start. I have so many uncompleted story it's crazy. I guess I'm going to post my stories on here, maybe that will keep me on task and motivated to finish my stories.

On another note New Year's was amazing. I had too much fun! I spent the first half of the New Year with my new(my boyfriend and our daughter). We had some really nice "together" time. We watched movies he cooked for me and we had the most amazing oops I'm not suppossed to say. lol! But realy we had a great time. I wanted him to come to my dad's house with me, but he wouldn't. It didn't matter though because I still had fun without him. I taked to strangers and fell off swings and got toasted(with my uncle). My uncle's pregnant girlfriend was there through it all. I wanted to say something to her, but I was just too messed up. I didn't even think about it untill I woke up the next morning.

My daughter stayed up through the whole thing too. I her first New Year and she stayed up through the whole thing. Actually she stayed up beyond New Years, she didn't go to sleep until close to four o'clock. Now after all the exitement I'm just waiting to get into school.

Wow I'm 18

OK so I turned 18 on Friday, but I don't feel any big change. And it doesn't help that I still look like I'm about 14. which really sucks! I don't feel anymore grownup than I did when I turned sixteen. I decided that since I'm finally eighteen I want to do some grown up type stuff.lol. So I decided to make a list of things I want to do just because I'm 18/before i turn 21. I found alot of these ideas on seventeen.com. Alight here it goes:

1. Go to a strip club-Yes I said it. I want to go to a strip club just because I'm 18 and I'm legally allowed too. This should be fun!
2. Take a road trip-One that doesn't involve my parents either. Just me my friends and the open road.lol. But seriously I ant to take my boyfriend and a couple of friends on a weekend road trip to Canada or something.
3. Sign up for a checking account-I've always wanted one of those:)
4. Learn to play a musical instrument
5. Visit an adult superstore-And maybe pick up a few bedroom items.lol.
6. Go skinny dipping-With my boyfriend of course!
7. Buy a pack of cigarettes-I don't even smoke, I just want to buy a pack because I'm 18 and I can do it.
8. Buy a lottery ticket-Hey, you never know what could happen.
9. Learn to drive a stick shift
10. Forgive someone-Everyone deserves to be forgiven I guess.
11. Have my fortune told-I've always wanted to go to one of those psychic shops and get my pam read and my fortune told. I wouldn't even mind working in one of those shops to be honest, that would be a pretty cool job.
12. Ride a horse
13. Wear a formal dress-I want o feel like a princess.
14. Get a job-Some people think it's weird that I'm 18 and I've never had a job, especially since I have a baby.
15. Leave the country
16. Learn to LOVE me-Self explanitory

If I think of anything else I'll be sure to add it.

No Life

personalI thought that was cute, but really I have no life anymore. Every since I had my little piggy I've been home-bound. The only place I really go now is to hr dad's house, this sucks! It sucks bad. And my boyfriend wants me pregnant again. I think he is really losing his mind, because there is NO way that I'm going through this again. Being pregnant is so irritating. People are always touching you and telling you what ou should and shouldn't be doing, I hate it! I never want to be pregnant again. Well maybe not ever, I'll probably be ready for another one in like 5 years. Yeah 5 years sounds good to me.

He Makes Me Feel Good

That basically sums up my relationship with my baby's daddy. I've learned not to be so critical of him because nobody is perfect(not even me :,( ). He loves me and is willing o give me his all for now, so I'm going to accept that and give him my all in return. Yes he had a daughter before mine and lied about for the last three years,but he eventually came clean. And the the other girls was pregnant before we started dating. He makes me feel good and I love him so I'm staying with my man. Just like Tammy Wynette sang, I'm going to stand by man and show the world that I love him. Some people might not understand, but it doesn't matter because I love him and he loves me. And that's all that counts right?